Q: What do you call a Sacramento Kings player with a championship ring?
A: A thief.

Q: What's the difference between the Sacramento Kings and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: What do the Sacramento Kings and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Q: What is the difference between a Kings fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: How many Sacramento Kings players does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

Q: What do you call 12 millionaires around a TV watching the NBA Finals?
A: The Sacramento Kings.

Q: What is a Sacramento Kings fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat the Lakers."

Q: How do you stop a Sacramento Kings fan from beating his wife?
A: Put a Lakers jersey on her!

Q: What do the Kings and a nail have in common?
A: They are both good till they hit the wood.

Q: If you have a car containing a Kings power forward, a Kings point guard, and a Kings center, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

Q: What's the difference between Demarcus Cousins and time?
A: Time passes.

Q: What does an Sacramento Kings fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
A: He turns off the PlayStation.

Q: How many Sacramento Kings fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!

Q: Why do Sacramento Kings fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: How do you keep a Kings fan from masturbating?
A: You paint his dick purple and gold and he won't beat it for years!

Q. Why do ducks fly over ARCO Arena upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!

Q: Why doesn't San Francisco have a professional basketball team?
A: Because then Sacramento would want one.

Q: What do you call a Sacramento King in the NBA Finals?
A: A referee.

Q: Did you hear that Sacramento's basketball team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

Q: Why are Sacramento Kings jokes getting dumber and dumber?
A: Because Kings fans have started to make them up themselves.

According to a new poll 91% of people are satisfied with their lives.
The other 9 percent are Sacramento Kings fans.

My wife was about to put my son in a Sacramento Kings jersey, but I reminded her it was a choking hazard.

I took my broken vacuum cleaner back to the store. They put a Sacramento Kings jersey on it and now it sucks again.

I heard Donald Trump is going to build a wall with all the bricks the Sacramento Kings laid tonight.